Dorothy Parker, Los Angeles, circa 1936.

Happy Birthday, Mrs. Parker

William Zeffiro, who wrote The Road to Ruin and is an officer in the Dorothy Parker Society, composed this song in 2008 and performed it at the birthday party we held for Dottie in August.

Happy Birthday, Mrs. Parker was recently recorded, and is presented here for you to enjoy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MRS. PARKER
Words and music by William Zeffiro
Performed by William Zeffiro

©2008 William Zeffiro. All Rights Reserved.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MRS. PARKER
THANK YOU FOR THE GLOOM,
YOUR SWEET SCOWL AND CALM DERISION
BRIGHTEN ANY ROOM.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DOROTHY ROTHSCHILD,
PLEASE EXCUSE THE CHEER,
THOUGH WE LOVE YOU WE’RE QUITE CERTAIN
YOU DON’T WISH YOU WERE HERE

OH, TO BE NEAR YOU
AND PERCHANCE TO STEAL A KISS,
IF ONLY TO HEAR YOU SAY,
“WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?”

AT THE ALGONK’ SIPPING COCKTAILS
HAVING NOT MUCH FUN
TRADING QUIPS AND GETTING BLOTTO
DOTTIE YOU’RE THE ONE.

IF I WERE ABLE
BACK IN TIME I’D GO
YOU’D DRINK ME UNDER THE TABLE
THEN SOBER ME UP WITH A CUP OF ‘JOE’.

MRS. PARKER, YOU’RE MY TOUCHSTONE
YOU SET MY HEART A FLIV’
GLASS IN HAND WITH FRIENDS AROUND ME
GUESS I MIGHT AS WELL LIVE!
BOTTOMS UP AND DOWN THE HATCH,
GUESS I MIGHT AS WELL LIVE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

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